Signs of Healthy Boundaries
--Appropriate trust
--Revealing a little of yourself at a time, then checking to see how the other person responds
--Moving step-by-step into intimacy
--Putting a new acquaintanceship on hold until you check for compatibility
--Deciding whether a potential relationship will be good for you
--Staying focused on your own growth and recovery
--Maintaining personal values despite what others think
--Noticing when someone else displays inappropriate boundaries
--Respect for others; not giving too much in hope that someone will like you
--Not allowing someone to take advantage of your generosity
--Trusting your own decisions
--Defining your truth, as you see it
--Knowing who you are and what you want
--Recognizing that friends and partners are not mind readers
--Clearly communicating your wants and needs (recognizing that you may be turned down)
--Becoming your own loving parent
--Talking to yourself with gentleness, humor, love, and respect
Signs of Unhealthy Boundaries
--Trusting no one or trusting everyone
--Telling all
--Being overly intimate on the first meeting
--Falling in love with a new acquaintance before knowing them
--Falling in love with anyone who may help you
--Being preoccupied with someone
--Going against personal values or rights to please others
--Not noticing when someone displays inappropriate boundaries
--Not noticing when someone invades your boundaries
--Accepting food, gifts, touch, sex that you don't want
--Taking as much as you can get for the sake of getting
--Giving as much as you can give for the sake of giving
--Allowing someone to take as much as they can from you
--Letting others direct your life
--Letting others define you
--Letting others describe your reality
--Believing others can anticipate your needs
--Expecting others to fulfill your needs automatically
--Falling apart so someone will take care of you
--Food/drug/alcohol/self abuse
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
Sunday, November 22, 2009
Heart Strings
For many years I have pondered what it is about medicine and patient care that really draws me. The question is convoluted to begin with, so I am not surprised there is no easy answer. Both of my jobs as an EMT and a crisis house mental health worker involve caring for damaged people; whether the ailment is physical, emotional or a combination of the two. I love each job equally, but recently, I have noticed what tugs at my heart the most is what I can see and feel during that instance of soul-piercing eye contact.
When I look in someone's eyes, I feel raw human emotion and my skin tingles, because it is as if I have stumbled upon something at its purest moment. Unfortunately, it is usually only a glimpse and then it disappears. I have decided this peek into the soul is the key to truly loving people, even when they are irritating, hurtful or just plain rude. Making that kind of connection with people warms my heart and confirms my belief that everyone is capable of love and deserves to be loved.
Half of me wants to pursue a surgical specialty in medical school, but the other half desires the mental health profession. I haven't quite decided how to satisfy my need for medical knowledge as well as providing psychological support. The obvious answer is psychiatry, but I am apprehensive to steer away from EMS. Therefore, I suppose the next step would be to explore why working in stressful, emergency situations is so appealing to me. Perhaps the feeling of rescuing people from some kind of darkness spackles those little holes in my heart.
One thing is for certain; the fire in my heart isn't just a thirst for knowledge, it is a passion to help people emerge from the dark spots in life and to fight their demons. I believe we are called to use our talents to help those who have fallen; now I just have to find the best way to do that.
When I look in someone's eyes, I feel raw human emotion and my skin tingles, because it is as if I have stumbled upon something at its purest moment. Unfortunately, it is usually only a glimpse and then it disappears. I have decided this peek into the soul is the key to truly loving people, even when they are irritating, hurtful or just plain rude. Making that kind of connection with people warms my heart and confirms my belief that everyone is capable of love and deserves to be loved.
Half of me wants to pursue a surgical specialty in medical school, but the other half desires the mental health profession. I haven't quite decided how to satisfy my need for medical knowledge as well as providing psychological support. The obvious answer is psychiatry, but I am apprehensive to steer away from EMS. Therefore, I suppose the next step would be to explore why working in stressful, emergency situations is so appealing to me. Perhaps the feeling of rescuing people from some kind of darkness spackles those little holes in my heart.
One thing is for certain; the fire in my heart isn't just a thirst for knowledge, it is a passion to help people emerge from the dark spots in life and to fight their demons. I believe we are called to use our talents to help those who have fallen; now I just have to find the best way to do that.
Friday, April 17, 2009
The other side of the Mountain
Anyone who knows me will agree I have always had a passion for medicine and helping those in need; in fact, my nickname among close friends is "Dr. Dove". I suppose I have always been drawn to biology, anatomy, physiology, etc, ever since I was very young. My mother likes to tell the story about my first encounter as a baby when I grabbed the doctor's stethoscope and said, "What's this?" My very first memories of hopes and dreams involved me wanting to be a doctor and, therefore, began pursuing my interest quite early. With my mom's help and connections at a hospital in MT I spent many hours throughout high school volunteering in the ER and shadowing surgeons in the OR trying to pin point exactly what I wanted to do.
As I grew older, I started to realize I wasn't sure if my desire to be a doctor was genuine. I suspected I was only trying to fulfill my need for approval and acceptance with family and friends, which is what drove me to seek a degree in psychology instead of premed. However, thanks to many trials and tribulations, I now have a better idea of Self and have been able to delve a little deeper into my reasoning behind the path I took through college.
Along with my need for approval I also have a debilitating fear of failure, but not just any failure, since I can appreciate the necessity of learning from mistakes. I speak of the possibility of failing at something that could potentially define my very being. I suppose this sounds a little dramatic, but when I consider what it would be like to be in medical school, my heart races and a pit of anxiety forms in my gut. As if on cue, my arch enemy, the Inner Critic, is loudest when I ponder an M. D., which makes actually going to medical school seem quite a bit more difficult that it should be. What if I put all that time, energy, and money into it and fail? What if my marriage suffers, because the journey is so long and tiring? What if . . .
Life is full of peaks and valleys, so-to-speak, and in my personal uphill battle this particular endeavor would be equal to climbing Mt. Everest! The interesting thing about this analogy is it is impossible to determine where a valley ends and a peak begins and one cannot exist without the other. Some peaks are minor blips and others are mountains, and if you never climb moutains, how can you determine what your valleys are? If medical school is Mt. Everest and I can reach the top, the view will be breath taking and certainly worth the struggle! Unfortunately, this thought is fleeting and my mind spirals down when I consider how many people don't ever reach the top of Mt. Everest before they have to turn around.
To be honest, the only major thing holding me back is, well, ME. I only need a few prereq classes, the MCAT and being accepted somewhere, so must really decide on what is most important to me. I know for sure I want to work as a helping professional and I cannot deny the fact my passion is for medicine. I have a feeling I will not be content being a paramedic for very long and at some point I will need an even bigger challenge.
Logically, I know I can do anything I put my mind to, since I have been blessed with intelligence and determination. Medical school will definitely be one of the largest peaks in my life, but I am beginning to think highest mountain ahead is overcoming my own insecurities.
As I grew older, I started to realize I wasn't sure if my desire to be a doctor was genuine. I suspected I was only trying to fulfill my need for approval and acceptance with family and friends, which is what drove me to seek a degree in psychology instead of premed. However, thanks to many trials and tribulations, I now have a better idea of Self and have been able to delve a little deeper into my reasoning behind the path I took through college.
Along with my need for approval I also have a debilitating fear of failure, but not just any failure, since I can appreciate the necessity of learning from mistakes. I speak of the possibility of failing at something that could potentially define my very being. I suppose this sounds a little dramatic, but when I consider what it would be like to be in medical school, my heart races and a pit of anxiety forms in my gut. As if on cue, my arch enemy, the Inner Critic, is loudest when I ponder an M. D., which makes actually going to medical school seem quite a bit more difficult that it should be. What if I put all that time, energy, and money into it and fail? What if my marriage suffers, because the journey is so long and tiring? What if . . .
Life is full of peaks and valleys, so-to-speak, and in my personal uphill battle this particular endeavor would be equal to climbing Mt. Everest! The interesting thing about this analogy is it is impossible to determine where a valley ends and a peak begins and one cannot exist without the other. Some peaks are minor blips and others are mountains, and if you never climb moutains, how can you determine what your valleys are? If medical school is Mt. Everest and I can reach the top, the view will be breath taking and certainly worth the struggle! Unfortunately, this thought is fleeting and my mind spirals down when I consider how many people don't ever reach the top of Mt. Everest before they have to turn around.
To be honest, the only major thing holding me back is, well, ME. I only need a few prereq classes, the MCAT and being accepted somewhere, so must really decide on what is most important to me. I know for sure I want to work as a helping professional and I cannot deny the fact my passion is for medicine. I have a feeling I will not be content being a paramedic for very long and at some point I will need an even bigger challenge.
Logically, I know I can do anything I put my mind to, since I have been blessed with intelligence and determination. Medical school will definitely be one of the largest peaks in my life, but I am beginning to think highest mountain ahead is overcoming my own insecurities.
Thursday, January 8, 2009
Old Habits
There is a saying, "Old habits die hard"; but I have come to realize that my old habits simply won't die. No matter how many times I repeat my "mantras" about when it is and is not appropriate to help other people, I continue to have the knee jerk response; help everyone, no matter the problem or cost to Self. I have been calling this caretaking, but I think a more appropriate term is the Superhero complex.
The other day, I went with my family to In & Out Burger for my sister's birthday. As we pulled in to a parking space, I didn't notice anything unusual, just people eating burgers. One woman was outside sitting at a table by herself. We are about to get out when, suddenly, she leaps from her seat and flings open the door of the car next to my door. There is a slightly overweight man in the driver's seat finishing a burger. The woman knocks the rest of his food out of his hands and demands he let her drive. She proceeds to call him all sorts of names regarding his weight. I notice several things in about 3 seconds. He has a wedding ring on and is probably the unfortunate husband of this mad woman, she is half his size, and there is a baby in the backseat. My mother and I calmly ask if we may exit the van, since her outburst is blocking us in. She tries to close her car door enough to let us out, while she is bent over this poor man screaming about how he is embarassing her. The man keeps his cool, or rather, cowers in the car pleading with her to let us out. She finally goes around the other side so we can get out of the car. I was so shocked at what I had just witnessed, I couldn't help but say, "Yikes." I am guessing she didn't hear me or chose to not say anything, since she didn't turn her fury on me.
As we walk inside, I am having a major internal battle about what to do. I had just witnessed domestic abuse and perhaps child endangerment. I watch them carefully from inside to see what happens next. Superhero Emily is working on convincing Logical Emily to call the police, call CPS, restrain the mad woman, do SOMETHING to help that poor man! In the span of about five minutes, the man steps out of the car, the woman gets in and speeds off, leaving him in the In & Out parking lot. He sees me looking at him, shakes his head and walks off in defeat. I could feel his embarassment and shame through the glass doors, which triggers yet another bout of the Superhero complex.
By the end of those five minutes I was already telling myself that, although terrible, what I had just seen was not my problem. I played out what would have happened had I called the police; both parties would have already left, I didn't have any info on the make, model, or license plate # of the car to give to police, and more than likely, the man would not press charges or simply deny anything happened. I would have been left feeling frustrated and depressed about not being able to help, which would have confirmed all the negative thoughts I have of my Self.
A counselor once told me to picture life as a trek uphill (which isn't hard to do, right?!) and that we are all carrying knapsacks for the journey. Sometimes, along the way, we have to push boulders out of the way in order to continue, but most of the time we have knapsacks. If we are always stopping to help everyone carry their knapsacks, who is helping you? Furthermore, how are you helping them by taking care of their problems? The part that really got me is this: if we are constantly carrying other's problems, we are only setting them up for failure when they experience larger problems or even similar obstacles. Everyone must learn how to overcome on their own. Therefore, the healthy thing to do is walk alongside encouraging people and when a boulder (a really big, life-changing problem) comes along, we can help push, but not take over pushing. This way, everyone works on carrying their own load. I think the reason why I had such a hard time deciding what to do is because my mind didn't determine fast enough if the problem was a boulder or knapsack in these people's lives.
I had only seen a brief snipit of this couple's lives and was ready to take over. I think what I really witnessed was a very sad knapsack event. Maybe this guy needed to be left stranded in order to walk home and determine that what he really needed to do was set some boundaries with his wife. If I had intervened, maybe I would have robbed him of some much needed time for thinking about his situation. Who knows, but I do know I feel good about not taking my Superhero complex and running, well flying, with it.
The other day, I went with my family to In & Out Burger for my sister's birthday. As we pulled in to a parking space, I didn't notice anything unusual, just people eating burgers. One woman was outside sitting at a table by herself. We are about to get out when, suddenly, she leaps from her seat and flings open the door of the car next to my door. There is a slightly overweight man in the driver's seat finishing a burger. The woman knocks the rest of his food out of his hands and demands he let her drive. She proceeds to call him all sorts of names regarding his weight. I notice several things in about 3 seconds. He has a wedding ring on and is probably the unfortunate husband of this mad woman, she is half his size, and there is a baby in the backseat. My mother and I calmly ask if we may exit the van, since her outburst is blocking us in. She tries to close her car door enough to let us out, while she is bent over this poor man screaming about how he is embarassing her. The man keeps his cool, or rather, cowers in the car pleading with her to let us out. She finally goes around the other side so we can get out of the car. I was so shocked at what I had just witnessed, I couldn't help but say, "Yikes." I am guessing she didn't hear me or chose to not say anything, since she didn't turn her fury on me.
As we walk inside, I am having a major internal battle about what to do. I had just witnessed domestic abuse and perhaps child endangerment. I watch them carefully from inside to see what happens next. Superhero Emily is working on convincing Logical Emily to call the police, call CPS, restrain the mad woman, do SOMETHING to help that poor man! In the span of about five minutes, the man steps out of the car, the woman gets in and speeds off, leaving him in the In & Out parking lot. He sees me looking at him, shakes his head and walks off in defeat. I could feel his embarassment and shame through the glass doors, which triggers yet another bout of the Superhero complex.
By the end of those five minutes I was already telling myself that, although terrible, what I had just seen was not my problem. I played out what would have happened had I called the police; both parties would have already left, I didn't have any info on the make, model, or license plate # of the car to give to police, and more than likely, the man would not press charges or simply deny anything happened. I would have been left feeling frustrated and depressed about not being able to help, which would have confirmed all the negative thoughts I have of my Self.
A counselor once told me to picture life as a trek uphill (which isn't hard to do, right?!) and that we are all carrying knapsacks for the journey. Sometimes, along the way, we have to push boulders out of the way in order to continue, but most of the time we have knapsacks. If we are always stopping to help everyone carry their knapsacks, who is helping you? Furthermore, how are you helping them by taking care of their problems? The part that really got me is this: if we are constantly carrying other's problems, we are only setting them up for failure when they experience larger problems or even similar obstacles. Everyone must learn how to overcome on their own. Therefore, the healthy thing to do is walk alongside encouraging people and when a boulder (a really big, life-changing problem) comes along, we can help push, but not take over pushing. This way, everyone works on carrying their own load. I think the reason why I had such a hard time deciding what to do is because my mind didn't determine fast enough if the problem was a boulder or knapsack in these people's lives.
I had only seen a brief snipit of this couple's lives and was ready to take over. I think what I really witnessed was a very sad knapsack event. Maybe this guy needed to be left stranded in order to walk home and determine that what he really needed to do was set some boundaries with his wife. If I had intervened, maybe I would have robbed him of some much needed time for thinking about his situation. Who knows, but I do know I feel good about not taking my Superhero complex and running, well flying, with it.
Thursday, January 1, 2009
Bad Data
This past year has been filled with many struggles; the major one being my relationship with God. Since the time I moved to California from Bozeman in August of 2006, the path has been very difficult, in part, because I was trudging through uncharted territory. I made excuses and said I had no where else to go after I graduated (and ditched the alcoholic/addict boyfriend), but the truth is I was trying to escape all the hurt and disappointment surrounding me in Bozeman. The funny thing about escaping is you can't get away from yourself, no matter how many times you change the scenery and God seems to be everywhere even when I was trying to escape Him.
For awhile, I blamed God and all the "crazy" people of the ICOC church for duping me into following so blindly. I felt I had sacrificed a lot by moving to Bozeman on a mission team only to have my life hit rock bottom. After that whole experience I wanted nothing to do with church people, because they seemed to always fail me when I was hurting the worst. Two and a half years later I have come to the conclusion I have simply been collecting bad data and trying to prove faulty hypotheses about faith and God. I say "faulty", because I have had a distorted view of God and an even more damaged view of myself. I blame this on my previous inability to think for myself and uncanny habit of following what the "only true Christians" were doing and said I should be doing in order to get to Heaven.
I have only recently softened my heart towards the ICOC church, and in fact, have reconnected with several people from that time in my life (some who have found their way out at well). I now believe no one meant any harm, but their blind faith and legalistic ways hurt a lot of people. I have learned to be much more careful about how I am involved in the church setting these days. Being able to participate in a "small group" at the church I currently go to is, unfortunately, an obstacle further down the road. I have asked God to forgive me for doubting His ability to meet me more than half way and for being so angry as to push Him away. I don't think I will ever feel completely right with God, simply because I am inept at understanding how He could possible love anyone on this earth.
I have been reading Romans lately and a particular verse stuck out to me:
Romans 4:13-15
(New International Version)
"13 It was not through law that Abraham and his offspring received the promise that he would be heir of the world, but through the righteousness that comes by faith. 14 For if those who live by law are heirs, faith has no value and the promise is worthless, 15 because law brings wrath. And where there is no law there is no transgression."
(The Message)
"13-15That famous promise God gave Abraham—that he and his children would possess the earth—was not given because of something Abraham did or would do. It was based on God's decision to put everything together for him, which Abraham then entered when he believed. If those who get what God gives them only get it by doing everything they are told to do and filling out all the right forms properly signed, that eliminates personal trust completely and turns the promise into an ironclad contract! That's not a holy promise; that's a business deal. A contract drawn up by a hard-nosed lawyer and with plenty of fine print only makes sure that you will never be able to collect. But if there is no contract in the first place, simply a promise—and God's promise at that—you can't break it."
Every Christian and even most non-Christians know God's gift of eternal life is just that; a gift. To my detriment, I have never stopped to question how anyone came to that conclusion and simply believed it. Finding the meaning for myself in the Bible has been like a light bulb in my brain. The Message version of those verses really helped me understand that my relationship with God is not about marking off a to-do list. At our worst, God still loved us enough to sacrifice His son, and that is what I am still trying to wrap my mind around; because if I were God, I would have obliterated mankind a LONG time ago.
As hard as the past years have been, I think I have been given the opportunity to start fully appreciating who God really is. Whether or not I have made the right decisions regarding my relationship with God, the goal has been to find it for myself. Which parts were free will and which were God's I will never know; but I DO know now that bad data can still produce significant results, which can form better hypotheses.
For awhile, I blamed God and all the "crazy" people of the ICOC church for duping me into following so blindly. I felt I had sacrificed a lot by moving to Bozeman on a mission team only to have my life hit rock bottom. After that whole experience I wanted nothing to do with church people, because they seemed to always fail me when I was hurting the worst. Two and a half years later I have come to the conclusion I have simply been collecting bad data and trying to prove faulty hypotheses about faith and God. I say "faulty", because I have had a distorted view of God and an even more damaged view of myself. I blame this on my previous inability to think for myself and uncanny habit of following what the "only true Christians" were doing and said I should be doing in order to get to Heaven.
I have only recently softened my heart towards the ICOC church, and in fact, have reconnected with several people from that time in my life (some who have found their way out at well). I now believe no one meant any harm, but their blind faith and legalistic ways hurt a lot of people. I have learned to be much more careful about how I am involved in the church setting these days. Being able to participate in a "small group" at the church I currently go to is, unfortunately, an obstacle further down the road. I have asked God to forgive me for doubting His ability to meet me more than half way and for being so angry as to push Him away. I don't think I will ever feel completely right with God, simply because I am inept at understanding how He could possible love anyone on this earth.
I have been reading Romans lately and a particular verse stuck out to me:
Romans 4:13-15
(New International Version)
"13 It was not through law that Abraham and his offspring received the promise that he would be heir of the world, but through the righteousness that comes by faith. 14 For if those who live by law are heirs, faith has no value and the promise is worthless, 15 because law brings wrath. And where there is no law there is no transgression."
(The Message)
"13-15That famous promise God gave Abraham—that he and his children would possess the earth—was not given because of something Abraham did or would do. It was based on God's decision to put everything together for him, which Abraham then entered when he believed. If those who get what God gives them only get it by doing everything they are told to do and filling out all the right forms properly signed, that eliminates personal trust completely and turns the promise into an ironclad contract! That's not a holy promise; that's a business deal. A contract drawn up by a hard-nosed lawyer and with plenty of fine print only makes sure that you will never be able to collect. But if there is no contract in the first place, simply a promise—and God's promise at that—you can't break it."
Every Christian and even most non-Christians know God's gift of eternal life is just that; a gift. To my detriment, I have never stopped to question how anyone came to that conclusion and simply believed it. Finding the meaning for myself in the Bible has been like a light bulb in my brain. The Message version of those verses really helped me understand that my relationship with God is not about marking off a to-do list. At our worst, God still loved us enough to sacrifice His son, and that is what I am still trying to wrap my mind around; because if I were God, I would have obliterated mankind a LONG time ago.
As hard as the past years have been, I think I have been given the opportunity to start fully appreciating who God really is. Whether or not I have made the right decisions regarding my relationship with God, the goal has been to find it for myself. Which parts were free will and which were God's I will never know; but I DO know now that bad data can still produce significant results, which can form better hypotheses.
Thursday, December 4, 2008
Convoluted Self
Over the past five months I have come to realize I hold a lot of self-worth in having an occupation. I have cycled through many bouts of depression, feeling less than worthless for being unemployed. I cannot say I am happy to not be working, but I can admit the passing months have made me analyze parts of myself I previously would have sworn up and down could not be separated from Self. I have reached this conclusion in much the same way a bird slams in to an "invisible" window. Blind-sided!
Since I have not been able to identify with a job, I have been forced to dig up other things when I think of the question; "Who am I?" Since I have acquired skills from counseling, those other attributes are not difficult to come up with; loving, loyal, patient, emotional, intelligent, compassionate, intuitive, etc. What interests me is: Why did I put so much value in the jobs I have held? This habit of mine has always been a part of me, even before my first job in high school. I distinctly remember being horrified at having to work at pizza place in the mall and felt I was better than that. I learned quickly that it was hard work and there was a lot to be said about having humility and being grateful for a job, period. Of course, I was 16 when I secured my next job (with help from my mom and her connections) in a research lab, which reinstated my distorted view of Self.
Looking back, I honestly believed, and still do to some, OKAY, a great extent, that if everyone could see all my accomplishments and goals, I must be successful. At first glance, this idea seems correct, but it couldn't be further from the truth. I was so focused on what my goals and dreams were, according to what I knew great people aspired to do, I completely overlooked what was really important; figuring out what was within Self. Up until recently, I was merely decorating Self with accomplishments and earthly goals, so everyone could see, and if they could see how good I was, that meant I really was a good person. Sound familiar?! It is back to the incessant Good people go to Heaven and Bad people go to Hell, so I had better be on the Good list!
Now, hindsight is 20/20 and there is no possible way, unless a time machine is invented, I could have known all this at 17 years of age. However, eight years later, I am able to delve into my past with the knowledge I have now, which is a little like time travel. I certainly can't change anything, but I can clear some of the fog off the spectacles I use to view Self. Ironically, there was no way for me to come to my understanding of Self today without all my experiences/mistakes/delusions of the past. Interesting.
Since I have not been able to identify with a job, I have been forced to dig up other things when I think of the question; "Who am I?" Since I have acquired skills from counseling, those other attributes are not difficult to come up with; loving, loyal, patient, emotional, intelligent, compassionate, intuitive, etc. What interests me is: Why did I put so much value in the jobs I have held? This habit of mine has always been a part of me, even before my first job in high school. I distinctly remember being horrified at having to work at pizza place in the mall and felt I was better than that. I learned quickly that it was hard work and there was a lot to be said about having humility and being grateful for a job, period. Of course, I was 16 when I secured my next job (with help from my mom and her connections) in a research lab, which reinstated my distorted view of Self.
Looking back, I honestly believed, and still do to some, OKAY, a great extent, that if everyone could see all my accomplishments and goals, I must be successful. At first glance, this idea seems correct, but it couldn't be further from the truth. I was so focused on what my goals and dreams were, according to what I knew great people aspired to do, I completely overlooked what was really important; figuring out what was within Self. Up until recently, I was merely decorating Self with accomplishments and earthly goals, so everyone could see, and if they could see how good I was, that meant I really was a good person. Sound familiar?! It is back to the incessant Good people go to Heaven and Bad people go to Hell, so I had better be on the Good list!
Now, hindsight is 20/20 and there is no possible way, unless a time machine is invented, I could have known all this at 17 years of age. However, eight years later, I am able to delve into my past with the knowledge I have now, which is a little like time travel. I certainly can't change anything, but I can clear some of the fog off the spectacles I use to view Self. Ironically, there was no way for me to come to my understanding of Self today without all my experiences/mistakes/delusions of the past. Interesting.
Thursday, November 20, 2008
"Breath"
With your first breath you were welcomed
In to this life
By a mother who loves you
And a father who will always hold you tight
With another breath you sighed
At true love’s first kiss
And breathed life into
Two wonderful kids
Your heart was big, filled with compassion
And love
A gift we all know came from
Our big breath of life above
You were always eager
To lend a helping hand
For your family, neighbors, stranger
Or a friend
Despite your hardships
Your faith has shown through
The 7th floor ICU and your entire family
Have seen what God can do
With many breaths we wept with you
Through your battle against cancer
Sending a loud breath to heaven
Because we don’t have the answers
One harmonious breath kept you company
In the last hours
Perhaps it was us who needed
Its comforting powers
And with life’s last breath
Into God’s open arms you fly
Where happiness is endless
Sickness disappears
Pain ends
And there are no more tears to cry.
E. Jones ©2007
**In loving memory of Richard A. Bell**
10/01/80-11/21/07
In to this life
By a mother who loves you
And a father who will always hold you tight
With another breath you sighed
At true love’s first kiss
And breathed life into
Two wonderful kids
Your heart was big, filled with compassion
And love
A gift we all know came from
Our big breath of life above
You were always eager
To lend a helping hand
For your family, neighbors, stranger
Or a friend
Despite your hardships
Your faith has shown through
The 7th floor ICU and your entire family
Have seen what God can do
With many breaths we wept with you
Through your battle against cancer
Sending a loud breath to heaven
Because we don’t have the answers
One harmonious breath kept you company
In the last hours
Perhaps it was us who needed
Its comforting powers
And with life’s last breath
Into God’s open arms you fly
Where happiness is endless
Sickness disappears
Pain ends
And there are no more tears to cry.
E. Jones ©2007
**In loving memory of Richard A. Bell**
10/01/80-11/21/07
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